Just One of Those Days

My life is filled with a fountain full of children.

"Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable." ~Plato

     So I have come to the conclusion that little boys are merely miniature natural disasters waiting to happen.  It is only a matter of time before their destructive power potential leaks out in little mini-explosions.  The question is not if a monumental mess will be created in their presence, but which elemental form will the next disaster take.  I am fairly certain the eruption of Mount Vesuvius had its origins in a conversation between a group young boys.  I can just see them sitting around daring each other to do this or that, and somewhere in there getting the great idea to go dig a hole as deep as possible into the mountain...or maybe see if a man really could move a mountain.  Either way I'm sure boys are the real reason things like that happen.  Or at least why some disasters have happened in the past.

     Recently I got to experience one of those days where you swear your children are playing a tag-team game of destruction against you.

Round 1:  You know your day is going to be long when the first thing you wake up to, is your youngest son saying "poo-poo, poo-poo" over and over again and you are suddenly very aware of a rather pungent aroma has wafted into the room.  Discovering that said child is in the process of disrobing on your bedroom floor to proffer the contents of his undergarments to the tiles below was ever so exciting.  ;p  I got Chubbly all cleaned up, downstairs, fed, dressed and ready to go, then proceeded to get myself ready for the day.

Round 2: This was a mistake, for you see, I forgot to get Lumpy ready to go before I got myself ready.  I should have known better, but due to time constraints I waited to get her ready last.  So of course as I'm running later than I'd like to be, she decides she's starving and can NOT wait another minute to be fed.  So I quickly dress her, get her set up in the baby carrier to nom and figure I'd head out the door.  Queue vomiting, nothing makes a trip out the door slow down quite like suddenly having to change one's clothing from head to toe as well as the child's clothes that did the puking.  Thank you Princess Lumpy.
  

Silke reading a story to the boys at Pfarrgarten Kindergarten

     Well luckily for me the trip to & from the kindergarten was enjoyable, I even remembered to finally bring the camera with me so I could take some pictures the boys have been requesting.  Such as the one at the top, for whatever reason, the boys love that water fountain and asked every day if we could get pictures of it, so I did...and then some.  I'm not sure when they'll turn the water back on, so had to get this picture done before that happens.  I also got an adorable picture of Grins and Dash listening to a story at kindergarten when I first arrived to pick them up.We got home, I made everyone lunch, went to make everyone some chocolate milk when I had to stop & change Lumpy's diaper due to her having a blow-out.

      No big deal there, babies have blow-outs, it happens.  The problem lie within the fact I had to ascend two flights of stairs to the top floor to retrieve the clean diaper and wipes necessary for this procedure.  Normally not a big deal to briefly leave the kids on the first floor while we go running upstairs for whatever.  Alas, today was not a normal day.  Dash accompanied me up to my bedroom to talk, this unfortunately left Grins and Chubbly unattended alone with access to the kitchen.  Usually we have stuff put away so this isn't a problem, but as I was saying I was just getting ready to make everyone some chocolate milk when I got pulled away.  This means two things, one; the boys knew they were supposed to be getting chocolate milk, and two; that the chocolate Quick powder container was within easy reach on the kitchen counter.

Enter Round 3:  From my bedroom I hear what sounds like somebody choking and send Dash down as fast as he can to see if everyone is okay, while trying to get a diaper hastily thrown on Lumpy's backside to follow.  As I am racing back down the stairs from our bedroom I get as far as the second floor when I realize that I am smelling chocolate, just as I realize that is what I am smelling I hear Dash yelling from the hallway below me: "Mama!  Mama! Come fast, there is a really bad thing!  No one is choking  BUT There is chocolate every where!"  As I catch up to him, I realize he is quite right, extending from the second stair from the bottom down the hallway and disappearing into the living room is a fine coating of chocolate dust.  It is in the air, on the walls, on the floor and slowly filtering down onto everything below.  As I pick my way carefully down the stairs to the bottom I peek around the corner to the living room dreading what I will find, while praying it is no more than what I have already seen.  Alas my prayers were in vain as I look in and see not one, but two boys sitting on the floor absolutely coated in chocolate Quick powder.  In a giant cloud around them are spread out the entire contents of the Quick container, it had been nearly full prior to this and was now completely empty.  Chubbly is alternating between running his hands back and forth through the powder on the floor flinging it to the left and right like some sort of maniacal windshield wiper and stuffing powder into his mouth with a plastic cup.  His mouth is covered in wet chocolate and there is dark chocolate pouring out his nose.  AHA! That was the choking sound I must have heard, it is nearly impossible to consume very large mouthfuls of the fine powder without liquid and not choke.  Grins for his part is not as coated in chocolate and is trying to sweep the chalk dust like powder back up into a pile and put it back in the container with his hands.  This is about as successful as if he was trying to pick up a puddle of water using a fish net.  All he accomplished was making a larger mess.  Luckily there was no trail of chocolate leading from the kitchen to the spot they were sitting in, which is what told me that Chubbly was not alone in this theft and mess.  Grins quickly gave in under pressure that he had taken the container down from the counter top and carried it into the living room to share with Chubbly, they had tried to open it carefully on the floor when it "Esploded".

Photographic Evidence

For anyone not familiar with Nestle Quick powder, let me assure you that it is a fine powder akin to drywall, volcano ash, or tempura paint powder.  I could feel it coat my lungs when I breathed it in and it is equally difficult to clean up and get off and out of things.   I didn't think to take a picture of the aftermath until I had already swept up most of the powder into a pile and had calmed down a bit.

The two delinQuicks...prior to the second mess.

 Anyway, I stripped all the clothing off of the two perpetrators and carried them upstairs to the bathroom where I dumped them unceremoniously into the bathtub and began running warm water.  I returned downstairs to begin cleaning up the the disaster.  After sweeping the stairwell/hallway area up, I returned upstairs to turn the water off to the tub since there was plenty of water and bubbles at that point to get them clean and keep them out of my hair for at least a few minutes.  I then returned downstairs to finish cleaning up, I got as far as the picture you see above when I sent Dash upstairs to get into the tub.  I had decided if the younger three were already getting a bath today, I might as well wash the eldest as well.  He dutifully goes upstairs to take his bath and I follow him shortly.  As I'm grabbing all of them some clean clothes from the laundry room on the third floor I hear Dash calling from the second floor bathroom, "MAMA!  There is TOO much water and it's COLD!!!"  Cold?  It shouldn't be cold, and there shouldn't be very much of it either....UH-OH!!!

Round 4: As I approach the bathroom I notice a small river of water is sneaking out from under the door and into the hallway.  On entering I am surprised to see that the tub water is indeed at the top of the tub and Dash is standing there shivering in holding the faucet handle down, Grins is shivering at the far end, and in the middle is Chubbly, trying to pull the faucet handle back up.  I put my hand into the water and discover it is very cold.  There is water every where, up the walls, across the floor, all over the bathroom door.  What in the world?  So chocolate wasn't enough for them, they had to add water to the repertoire of disarray.

     On questioning I found out that Chubbly kept turning the water on with Grins turning it off, it was set to 'cold' and after the first four times, Grins decided he didn't care to keep turning it off.  He didn't think to let me know Chubbly was doing this, so ended up in a tub full of icy cold water and neck level.  Aaargh!  Well I had to get my arm all wet to reach down and unplug the tub to drain enough water that I could scrub them without pouring more water onto the already wet floor.  I scrubbed them all off quickly, getting as much chocolate out of their noses as I could.  I refused to make the water any warmer though, that was their problem, I did wash Dash off first and did give him some warmer water to rinse with, but yeah.  I then dried them off and put them in their Jammies and sent them to their beds for naptime.  Dash was the only one who did not nap and I was okay with it, since he was also the only one not really doing anything wrong.  After they were all in bed and snoring I returned to the mess downstairs and continued to clean it up before beginning supper.

Final Score: Boys 3, Mama 0, Girl 1...  Well in parenting you can't win every day, but I survived and so did they, so that counts for something, I think.  Not that anyone reads this, but if you do and you too have had similar days where you just want to cry, feel free to comment.
~Hummingbyrd