Regarding Mammals

Tea = Mammal

I thought I should include a few stories that have occurred that are worthwhile to keep and point back to in the future and show our children that on occasion they have brought forth some rather unique perspectives and subjects.  So every once in awhile I will include posts like this one that cover older stories or things worthy of note and remembrance.  One such story happened on the first of March of this year, we were all gathered at the table for breakfast when the following conversation took place.

It all began with the older two observing Lumpy having her breakfast.

D: Mama, is Lumpy having Noms? (our family name for breastfeeding)

Me: Yep, she's having her breakfast while we have ours.

G:  Mama, that's silly, Lumpy isn't eating.

Me: Yes she is, see? <show Grins her jaw working> Can you hear that sound?  That is her swallowing.

G: <looking alarmed>  Is she biting you Mama?!

Me: No, no she's not biting me, she is drinking Mama milk, she's a baby, they don't eat real food like big kids and grown ups.  She doesn't have any teeth yet.

D: Yep, Lumpy just gets Noms.

<pause while Grins contemplates this>

G: But how did the milk get in there Mama?  Did you pour it from the refrigerator into your tummy? 

H: No Grins the milk in the refrigerator is cow's milk, it came from a cow.  And the milk mama drinks isn't really milk, it's smooshed up almonds.  Lumpy is getting people milk from Mama's nipples.

G: What's a nipple?

Me:  It's a part of your body Grins, the two pink circles way above your bellybutton, those are your nipples.

D: Can you give Lumpy noms too Papa?

H: No, only Mamas give noms.

G: When I grow up to be a Mama, I want to give noms.

H: Ummm, Grins you can't grow up to be a Mama, only girls are Mamas, boys grow up to be Papas.

D: But Papa, boys have nipples too right?

Me: Yes Dash, boys have nipples too.  

D: Why?  

Me: Because we're all mammals.  Meaning we all have mammary glands able to make milk.  Mammals are any animal that gives its babies milk and has hair, or fur. So all mammals have nipples, or teats as they are called if its on an animal that isn't human.  Like whales, elephants, ham-hams (aka dwarf hamsters) cats, and dogs.  They are all mammals.

H: Yep guys, they all give their babies milk just like Mama is giving Lumpy milk.

G:  But I'm not a manimal(sic), I can't give my babies milk.

H: Well technically Grins you could make milk if you really needed to, but only if you were a grown up and the Mama was not able to.  Usually boys don't make milk, but we're still MAMmals.  You got noms when you were a baby because you are a mammal.  Other kinds of animals like birds and reptiles don't get noms.

D:  But they have nipples right?  Like lizards have nipples, right?

G: So do CHICKENS!!!<giggle>

H:<shakes head> Nope.

Me: Lizards don't have nipples, chickens don't have nipples.

Lizard = No Nipples = Not a Mammal

Chicken = No Nipples = Not a Mammal

Ham-ham = Nipples = Mammal

G: Are Fairies mammals?

Me: Fairies aren't real, but if they were, I suppose they would likely be mammals. Dragons on the other hand would be reptiles and not mammals.

D: Yeah, but Unicorns have nipples right mama? They're mammals.

H: No, Unicorns are not real either, but yes they would most likely be mammals and have nipples like horses. (yes I know teats, but the differentiation was lost on them.)

D: Papa! Unicorns are too real.

H: No Dash, Unicorns are Mythological, that's a fancy grown-up word for pretend. They aren't real.

D: Are horses pretend too?

Me: No horses are real, you've seen a horse before, dragons, unicorns, fairies are all pretend. That's why you have never seen a real one.

D: Horses are mammals? They have nipples? Just like whales?

Me: Yes, horses are mammals. 

G: Mama, are rabbits real? 

H: Yes Grins, rabbits are real. 

G: Oh good, rabbits have nipples.

H: Yes they do, now eat your breakfast boys or you'll miss Kindergarten

Everyone resumes eating for about five minutes, then Grins looked up and very matter-of-factly informed us...

P: Mama...Spiderman has nipples, he's a mammal.

Yes, this conversation happened, and it will be one of many I'm sure we'll share with you in the future.  Yes folks, you heard it right here, chickens do not in fact have nipples, and guess what?  Ducks don't either, you're shocked, right?